funny facebook statuses

I have a dig bick. You this read wrong. That awkward when you read that wrong. You also said "moment" after awkward. u got mindfucked

How school works: 2+2=4. Homework: 2+4+2=8. Exam: John had 4 apples, He eats one and gives one to a friend, Calculate the Suns mass.

Guy: She`s hot. Girl: She`s a bitch. Girl: He`s hot. Guy: He`s gay.

That moment of "Ha! Told ya b*tch" when your proving someone wrong.

Have you ever noticed that the word ``bed`` is shaped like an actual bed!

Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there`s an idiot pulling a door that says "PUSH".

*Sends risky text*
15 seconds later, no reply.
"Oh God what have I done!"

Why try when you know that it`s not gonna work out?

I`m more pissed off than a midget with a yo-yo.

Today, I saw something that reminded me of you. But I flushed the toilet, and it all went back to normal.