funny facebook statuses

OMG, I hate her.... ME TOO! = Instant best friends.

Why is Twilight like soccer? They run around for 2 hours, nobody scores, and millions of fans insist you just don`t understand!

Rule of math. If it seems easy, you`re doing it wrong.

THERE IS A VAST Difference BETWEEN SENIORITY AND SINCERITY .

I`ll quit drinking when Taylor Swift stops writing songs about ex boyfriends.

Dont give up just because of what people said. Use that as your motivation to push harder.

A guy in a mental hospital, placed two stones in his ears .. The doctor asked him, "What are you doing?" he replied, "I`m listening to ROCK music!"

ONE OF OUR GREATEST MISTAKES IN LIFE:
the crappy e-mail address we made when we were little

Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I`m going home

I predict the end of the world. It will be in September on an unknown day. Ya, you thought 2012 was scary. Wait until you experience the tragedy. It`ll be all over the news. I call this, The New Kardashian.