funny facebook statuses

I sleep less, I`m tired. I sleep more, I`m tired..

My home boy carlos got his car stolen we just call him los now

"I Love You" "OMG,really? What a coincidence!" "Why? You love me too?" "No,I love myself too!"

A snail that meows. A squirell in an astronaut suit. A crab with a whale as a daughter. The creators of SpongeBob were obviously high.

Try to say the letter "M" without your lips touching= Mindblown

different perspectives..

` use LOVE in a sentence.. `

girl: love is sex.
boy: i love sex!

I`m not saying shes a slut, but I`m surprised that Facebook hasn`t made her a place too "check in"

Dear Microsoft Word, I`m pretty sure I spelt my name correctly. Sincerely, Everyone.

A guy in a mental hospital, placed two stones in his ears .. The doctor asked him, "What are you doing?" he replied, "I`m listening to ROCK music!"

some people are as useless as the `ay` in okay.