funny facebook statuses

School dress code is dumb af. your shoulder can`t show??? What boy is going to look at a girl & be like "DAMM THATS A FINE ASS SHOULDER"

Dancing Party! ~(‘,’~) (~’,`)~ \(‘-’\) (/’-`)/ \(‘-’\) (/’-`)/ ε(‾^‾)з \(‾^‾)/ ƪ(˘⌣˘)┐ ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ ┌(˘⌣˘)ʃ

Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position. ;P

Did you hear about the mexican who went to college? Neither did I.

Roses are blue, violets are unicorns. This doesn`t make sense. Refrigerator.

I`m not fat. My stomach`s 3D.

My relationship is like an iPad. I don’t have an iPad.

It`s funny, in scary movies someone says "hello is anyone in here" like there expecting the murderer to say "Oh yeah i was gonna kill you be out in a sec. "

Teacher: "Look the equation is simple I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 bottles in the other. What do I have?" Answer: Me: A Drinking problem?

BREAKING NEWS! Dora the Explorer suffers a heart attack after discovering Google Maps!