I`ve had better outcomes telling a cop to go fuck himself than when telling a woman to calm down.....
-unknown
funny facebook statuses
A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min, a beer shortens your life by 4 minutes, a working day shortens your life by 8 hours!
-unknown
went to a pet store, me:hey! that`s nemo! worker:sweetie that`s a clown fish me: that`s nemo bitch! your dead to me.
-unknown
Me: breaths*
Mom: watch your damn tone!
Mom: watch your damn tone!
-unknown
Truth Or Dare: Truth.... Hell no I ain`t telling you that
-unknown
Bored → Goes to kitchen → Opens fridge → Looks inside → Leaves empty handed.
-unknown
If you`ve never slept in an exam before, you don`t deserve to be alive!
-unknown
if u can`t join them,beat them or arrange for them to be
beaten.:)
beaten.:)
-unknown
Before `YOLO` did y`all think you lived twice or some shit?
-unknown
That sad moment when you don`t get window seat.
-unknown