funny facebook statuses

Having those weird conversations with your friends & thinking if anyone heard us right now, we`d be put into a mental hospital.

A paper cut is a tree`s last revenge.

Watching a movie & yelling at the characters for doing something stupid. ( ._.)

Roses are red, i have a phone. Nobody texts me. Forever Alone xD

Teacher: "Look the equation is simple I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 bottles in the other. What do I have?" Answer: Me: A Drinking problem?

Saw a butterfly that couldn`t fly the other day. I poured some of my Red-Bull on it and BOOM! {it Gives U Wings} lol

BREAKING NEWS! Dora the Explorer suffers a heart attack after discovering Google Maps!

When on the run and getting away you must say, "This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow"

The guy that discovered milk, I wonder what he was doing with that cow.

That awkward moment when 2 people are talking to you at the same time and both of them are waiting for the other to stop.