funny facebook statuses

The Awkward Moment When You`re At Your Friends House And You Stand In Front Of The Mirorr And Act Crazy , Suddenly You Got Her Goin On With You .....That`s How I Call It Friendship :)

*Crush steals food* heyy! *flirty push* *Regular person steals food* GIVE ME MY SHIT BACK B*TCH! *Drop kick*

Things to do today: 1.Dig a hole 2. Name it love 3. Watch people fall in love

When all else fails... Fall to the floor, wrap your arms around your legs, rock back and forth, and start chanting, "go to your happy place" over and over

i hate how people say nathcho cheese when it is my cheese!

Swag is for boys, class is for gentlemen.

A guy broke into my apartment last week. he did`t take the tv, just the remote. now he drives by and changes the channels............. Sick bastard

hey you . . . you ? . . . me ? . . . no the person behiden you ! oh . . .

Don`t be racist. Be like a panda. They`re black, white and asian. But they`re not mexican, so be like a panda holding a taco.

Wikipedia-I know everything! Google-I have everything! Facebook-I know everybody! Internet- Without me you all are nothing!Electricity- Keep talking b*tches