funny facebook statuses

The awkward moment when Adele doesn`t find someone like you.

Cellphone,Laptop,Xbox,TV = My best friends!

Dear Committed Ones, Being single is my Attitude. Never think that I`m not perfect for anyone. Sincerely, I`m too sexy for anyone!!

If I worked in a restaurant... on Valentines Day I would put a fake engagement ring in every girl`s drink..hehe

I wish mirrors and pictures would get together already and agree on what I really look like.

in the good old days, girls used to cook like their mothers, NOW THEY DRINK LIKE THEIR FATHERS...:)

parents spend the first 2 years of a childs life teaching them to walk and talk then spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up

if someone tried to read my mind their brain would explode, due to the number of thoughts that go though it at one time.

I don`t understand how Dora puts on her shirt. It`s physically impossible. And why wear the EXACT SAME shirt everyday, its not exactly world`s best shirt

The best thing about having a dogs is when you fart you can blame the dog