funny facebook statuses

Officer to drunk boy : "How high are you?"
Drunk boy: No officer, its "Hi! How are you?"

There is a light at the end of every tunnel….just pray it’s not a train!.

I am going to change my Facebook name to nobody so when i like something its going to say nobody likes this.

"Guess what? I just saw the new movie." "For real?" "No, for fake."

im not lazy....
im just motivated to do nothing:p

I love my computer chair. It spins. <3

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today’s status

I bark at my dog to show him who`s boss.

The moment when you go up and hug your friend that you haven`t seen in forever, then realize that it was someone else and you just hugged a complete stranger. . .

Life isn`t always what you expect...