Such a satisfying feeling when "the one that got away" turns into "dodged that bullet"
-unknown
funny facebook statuses
Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad....
-unknown
I’m no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.
-unknown
Oops, sorry. I dropped that fuck I was about to give.
-unknown
Genie: "You have three wishes and that`s it."
Me: "I wish for 3 more Genies."
Genie: "F*ck you smart a$$."
Me: "I wish for 3 more Genies."
Genie: "F*ck you smart a$$."
-unknown
nothing lasts forever, hope is dope.
-unknown
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, "It`s okay, I think we lost him."
-unknown
It`s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
-unknown
I Don`t Care If There`s Plenty More Fish In The Sea. I Want THAT Fish!
-unknown
I`ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea what the "I`m Feeling Lucky" button is for.
-unknown