funny facebook statuses

My room is not a mess. It`s an obstacle course designed to keep me fit.

but mom how am I suppose to buy drugs with a gift card :)

Deodorant \o/
No Deodorant ~\o/~

I’m so athletic. I surf… the internet.

Who else had one of those pens with five colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once?

That mysterious toothbrush in the bathroom that no one in your family uses.

Girl move from the sunlight. l hate the smell of burning plastic.

waiter: "what drink would you like"
me: "тнє вℓσσ∂ σƒ му єηємιєѕ"
waiter:
me:
waiter:
me:
waiter:
me:
waiter: "is Coke okay"

☐ Single. ☐ Taken. ☑ Waiting for my crush to notice me.

Drugs and Alcohol are never the answer. Unless the
question is "What are you gonna do this weekend?"